Blessing number 1

The ability to just move on.
Have you even had those moments in life when you just don't get something or are tired of trying your hardest and it just not working out in your favor?! I feel like I have been living with a lot of confusion for a long time concerning a certain aspect of life, and now, as of I think this morning, I can just let go and not care or worry about it. I know that this will take continued prayer and effort on my part, but I feel as though the Lord knows it is completely out of my hands now- I promise not to clench or reach back for it again. PROMISE! I feel really good about this freedom and hope that I can go forward and focus on my own happiness and friends and family. The atonement can cover so much!

Day 1- What do you want from me?

Other than being a catchy song title by some freakish artist, sometimes I ask God (probably with more attitude than I should) what exactly does He want from me? The day-to-day living of callings, being a wife and mom, and trying to become a better person are all a blessing, of course, but I sometime fail to feel the "renewing" power that I kind of expect. I know, I know, it's probably exactly because I expect it that I don't get it, but I haven't always expected it either, and I don't think it came any more frequently. I thought that faith in receiving answers/blessings/fill-in-the-blank is what helps God effectuate it in our lives. Just a rant. Now on to recording blessings/impressions/feelings so I can look back and say-"see Ashley, I told you God loves you and is mindful of you!! See how He helped you! See how He prepared you for this! See how much you have grown!"

For that I am excited.
For now, I am scared poopless at what might flow from my fingertips.